God as my friend...
Tonight I was on coverage for room night, usually on nights like tonight I would get off around 11. Tonight I stayed back a little while longer because we had been having Internet issues... This is where the story starts. As I left the house and I was walking to my car I started to think about being in Indiana, I was thinking about how I always had someone to call and talk to when I got off work. As I was thinking about that (very quickly) I thought that most of my Indiana friends would be in bed already, due to being on a different time zone. I also thought that it would be nice to have someone in Missouri that I could call right now, but I knew where all those people were already. They are all older, responsible folks who are in bed, or they are young, tired, Bigs on property who are in bed. If the Bigs weren't in bed (there are a couple night owls), then they are un-available and with guy/girl friends.
This paragraph is background info, we will get back to the story in a second... Another thought that went through my head was that I wasn't really all that close to a lot of people back in Indiana. I had a lot of deep friendships in college, but over time most of those people (me included) have moved on to other things in life. We are still close when we call, we just don't call all that often.
Then I heard a voice say that I could talk to Him. He was available 24-7. And as a matter of fact we had some catching up to do, it's been a couple days. Then the verse went through my head that goes something like this,
"...but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
When I heard that it was like, oops, good point. Let's talk. So, I began to pray, but my mind was still racing and scattered from my day, instead of asking God to help bring me into a state of peace within my mind, I turned on the CD Player in my car and drove home. Now I am typing this blog that your reading, but once I am done with this, I have some catching up to do with someone. Just in case your wondering what verse the one above is, I have it, along with the beginning part. Here it is: Proverbs 18:24 (English Standard Version)
"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother"
So there are a few obvious ways to take this post, I am going to avoid some of those, but I will tell you the few things that stuck out to me.
Conviction. I didn't feel guilty, I felt convicted, like I haven't spent time with someone really important today, and that makes me sad. Also, it makes me want to strive to do better as opposed to be down on myself for letting someone down.
Humbled. How many times do we just go through our day and totally forget about God. Lot's of times we even pray or read our Bibles, yet we still forget about Him and don't spend the time to really get to know Him as our friend. As our friend...what does that even look like? Do we know what that means? Yes, some of us do, many characters in the Bible knew, I would like to think I knew...but do I?
Excited. Even when we are stuck in sin or self consumed we have a God who desires to be with us, who thought it worth dying to spend time with us. And sometimes we don't even remember He is there. I took my daughter shopping with me the other day, she saw so many things she wanted. She kept saying daddy can I get this or can we get that. It seemed like all she thought about was herself. Now she is young, very young, and so I talked to her about being selfish and self-consumed. But how would it have been different if she was so focused on herself that she wasn't even talking to me. I enjoyed the time with her, and I loved the conversations that we had, but what if she didn't even know I was with her? I would be crushed. And yet, sometimes that how I treat God...
This post has turned out much longer than I thought it was going to be. Many times while typing it I thought I might start crying in the middle of it. This is what has been bouncing around in my mind for the last hour or so. So know I am publishing what was in my head.
