You can read more about him here, but here are my thoughts.

At a time were the US was shaken to its core from the largest terrorism attack on our soil we were left grasping for meaning, answers, and revenge. President Bush received more support and his approval rating skyrocketed through the roof with his leadership during the crises. Shortly after Americans began to pull themselves together our sights were set on Iraq, and most notably, Saddam. An Iraq invasion that led to him being dragged out of a hole in the middle of nowhere, recently he was hung.

When you think about what goes on emotionally during this process, it confuses logic. Saddam was convicted not even 60 days ago, today he is dead. This had made me think allot about the situation lately. Many times in America prisoners sit in cells for the better parts of their lives waiting to be executed, Saddam had less than two months. Don't get me wrong I am not grieving for him...they described the execution in one article and someone was making fun of him as he was getting ready to be hung and he said 'Go to hell!', as far as we know those are his last words....I think that shows us a little about his character. Can you imagine you are being led up to a platform looking around seeing everyone, you get up to the platform to meet 3-4 guys in black hoods, someone puts a rope around your neck and then blindfolds you. A couple seconds go by and you instantly fall to your death.

What kind of thoughts are going through your head, what kind of fears? What kind of emptiness? In one of the article I was reading they said he had 400 of the top leaders in his nation come to a meeting where he claimed there was a plot to over through him and he read there names out loud and people came in the room and arrested and killed the people as he read their names....What were those people thinking? Later it was found out there was no plot...except for Saddam to be able to execute his top challengers.

I think about the death penalty and question the morality of it and I am very strong in my stance on it right now...I am completely for it in most cases, I think anyone who intentionally kills 5 or more needs to pay for it and it needs to be carrier our quicker than it is, but I am not sure about people who kill fewer than people, I think it depends on the heinousness of the crime. This stance though....does not prevent me from contemplating the tragedy of death and the death penalty and what those people go through.

Anyone who hates, anyone who is so evil as to look at someone begging for mercy and kill them anyway, anyone who murders the defenseless, or who gets a high from killing, those people need to be rid of. This is were my faith makes things hard because the price has already been paid, still I am definitely for the death penalty. The less of these people who are in the world the better...still, does the evil go away or just the person?

This event, this place in time with Saddam being hung will forever be recorded in history and we are experiencing it right now...I guarantee the more you know about Saddam the more you will see his death as justified, but is always think about the mindset of the person dying. Whether its a person who was the killer, like Saddam, or the people he killed and there terror they experienced. I can't handle it long, but I can't not think about it. I feel sorry for Saddam, the emotional turmoil he experienced, but he made choices and those choices have consequences. Did you know this guy was worth approximately 7B when he died? Yes that's a 'B' as in billion. This was a guy who saw himself as untouchable and got his way with what he wanted, he enjoyed playing God. And now he has met Him...and it's to late.



Regular lurks feel free to comment...

January 1st I will be starting my new position at the South Bend Sprint Store location. Basically i will be transfered from my current location at the Mishawaka Store to the South Bend Store. This does come with a promotion and a little bit of a pay raise (very excited), but more importantly....well I guess that's the most important part. The position is the exact same thing I do now but I get a higher hourly pay plus my codes will be able to over-ride more things. I will also be relied on more to open, close, and be involved with some managing of the sales floor. In the new position I am not quite management but more than just a rep, I guess that's good.

I tallked to my regional manager on the way home from Christmas and he will be expecting a lot of things from me that I have no experience in or qualifications and will receive no training (gotta love iPCS). Not only that but I will only be at the new store a week and then i will need to take a week off when we have our baby. On top of that the manager at the new store is leaving around the time I take off to have our baby. This means I will have more responsibility than normal due to extenuating circumstances. Anyway I thought I would let everyone know.

P.S. Is anyone making any temporary new year resolutions? I will be making the normal:
1. Spend more time with God / Family
2. Get my website up and running
3. Loose weight
4. Save up an emergency fund (check daveramsey.com for details)
5. New House
What about you?

Most of us associate breaks as a period of time between two busy normal periods of time. Christmas break was exacly that. I had four days off in a row, but there was no break as i was gone non-stop. Sunday i went in to work for 30 min. to get a phone for my grandma. Then to Goshen...up all night early to rise (ok so we got up at 10 am but we were operating on about 6 hrs. of sleep...and i am not in college anymore so it's not working for me.)

Then Monday, wake up do gifts with family, extended faminly, then off to Angola where we were up all night and early to rise (ok so we got up at 10 am but we were operating on about 6 hrs. of sleep...and i am not in college anymore so it's not working for me.).

Then Tuesday, wake up do gifts with in-law family, and watch movie's all night and early to rise for sweeper evaluations Wensday (ok so we got up at 10 am but we were operating on about 6 hrs. of sleep...and i am not in college anymore so it's not working for me.) Sweeper guy comes, we say let us think about it then pack up and off we go to our home....BUT a detour sends us off couse and to the Essenhaus (which means eating house) for supper before going home, staying up late to update my blog for all you folks and early to rise for work (ok so work starts at 10 am but i will be operating on about 6 hrs. of sleep...and i am not in college anymore so it's not working for me.)

So you see there was no break (i get there were a few gaps in time but when you are not at home you are always kind of 'on' so in that respect there is no break).

I hope you all enjoyed my story, my Christmas was productive in landing me some favorite movies, two new pairs of jeans (get it pairs...ok) and shirts. Some nice candy (unfortunately no new belts ) and some other stuff... I forgot to say it on the 25th so i will say it now and you all will just have to forgive my tardy-ness...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Last night ended with a bang at work. We had a couple guys come into the store some Notre Dame fans may have heard of, so i thought i would list them here:
Munir Prince
Kallen Wade
Barry Gallup
Derrel Hand
Asaph Schwapp
David Grimes
Tom Zbikowski

Some others i have met at work include:
Mark LeVoire & Here (Now plays for the Bears)
Bob Morton
Demetrius Jones
Richard Jackson
Evan Sharpley
Chase Anastasio
Ryan Harris
Mitchell Thomas
Marcus Freeman

And i have also met Justing Upton, #1 draft pick in all of MLB in 2006, cool huh?

I am creating a website, i thought everyone would like to know. Please don't start calling me Ant all at the same time

p.s. no offense to Ant, while he may be ok with being in my shoes...i don't want to trade shoes with him, he has stinky feet.

While I was walking tonight I was thinking that what I am looking for in a church is a place where people take God home with them after the service instead of leaving Him in their pews with their now discarded bulletins. Anyway just some thoughts.

Today I was talking to a friend and while I was talking to him I think I realized the difference between a life totally surrendered to God and a Christian who is still in control. And while I am the latter I think to someone who is completely surrendered it must be sad to see those who aren't. Let me tell you it challenges me to surrender myself.

I recently got a new phone! It is a Palm Treo 700wx and looks like this. Needless to say I am very happy about this new development and will update you all as much as is necessary.

Last night I got the opportunity to get back on the basketball court after a 1 year layoff. So sure, I was a little rusty, a little slower than last time, and a little winded. You should have seen me dunk though, it was tight! Anyway, one of the many times I went sky high into the air to block a pass I came down the wrong way on my left leg and severely sprained my knee (so severely I went to MedPoint, so you know it was serious). Before everyone goes crazy, my team will be fine and we should still make the playoffs, however, I will be on injured reserve for about the next 6 weeks so….what can you do? Anyway, I thought you would all want to know. You also may get the urge to laugh at me when you see how much I am limping, but trust me, that wouldn’t be a good idea. You may be the next thing to get dunked when I get back on the court!

I would like people to tell me what they like or what they would change about the logo's they like. Or if you want to create your own and show me. I need your help. To view the logo's you will have to access a lost website found here. To create your own logo go here. You may need to create an account but it is fun and FREE. Enjoy.

Here are some logos i am trying to decide about, please help.

Logo 1



Logo 2



Logo 3



Logo 4



Logo 5

Lately i have been forgetting to post...sorry. I was talking to a friend the other day about making large life decisions and he asked me if i would view the life decision as running to something or running away from something....it's important that we keep a perspective on life that is Godly and humble and we know that whatever it is in life that we are suppose to do, we do for the glory of God. All to many times i take it for granted that this life is not my own and i think i get to make all the choices, which i do but usually i mess them up, when i choose God it's better. Again, when i choose God it's better.

Right now i am at a point in life where i don't know what i want to do, i don't know where or when i want to do it. However if i made the choice last week it would have been different because i was in a different mental state then. I am glad i didn't choose last week. Now i choose God. It is a hard choice to always do the will of God, and i will definitely fail, boy will i fail, but i choose God.

By the way, T-minus 6 weeks and counting for little tyke number 2.

Tomorrow I go on a road trip. About 6 hours to somewhere in PA, then we hang out and come 6 hrs back, should be fun.

I am back from Denver, what a trip….it was interesting. We went out and prayed at Columbine High School. We also prayed throughout various parts of the city of Denver. We also visited the Children’s Hospital, that place will really make you think and I will probably post more on that later. Being able to see the mountains and everything really was amazing. I think that it would be a cool place to live. I also met a guy who does exactly what I want to do with a website idea. That was my trip, more later.

I leave in roughly 9 hrs. to go to Denver. What am I going to be doing there? Good question. This trip has been planned for a while now and it's finally here. I may update you all throughout the trip...or I may not. Either way I will update everyone when I am back...that I am, in fact, back. People seriously though, it's ok to post once in a while and I am waiting for someone to write me the first story, from my previous post.

I had an idea late one night while I was on a walk and wanted to get everyone’s help on it. It seems that everyone has had a moment in time where Jesus did something for them, maybe you had timing just work out for you, or someone said the right thing at the right time or maybe it was a chapel service, if everyone feels comfortable with it, it would be cool if you would share one of your relational moments with me. If you don’t feel comfortable with it then maybe you can just e-mail it to me via the message me link on my info. I am very interested in reading these and I think it would help others.

Well it looks like i will be working out of a new location so if you want or need Sprint cell phone service you will need to find me at the South Bend location. I will be taking the Sr Rep. position soon. Dates are not finalized as of yet but i have been given the nod by my District Manager so...yea for me!!!

It seems that lots of people don’t know who Ted Haggard is; this made me think a bit. Ted Haggard was listed by Time Magazine as one of the 25 most influential evangelicals found Here. This is important because if we don’t know who the most influential people of our faith are, or we don’t know what they believe, it leaves us open to deception and makes our faith vulnerable. This is because the people who are fighting for us and telling us what is wrong or right, we know nothing about. Now there is no shame in not knowing who Ted Haggard is because when I looked at the top 25 I only knew of about 5 of them, and I have taken many courses & study on evangelical beliefs and values, but we need to do better at knowing who the Christian leaders are. And, Ted Haggard would have been one of the better known evangelicals on the list.

This does make me think that as Christians we need to be less accepting of what people tell us and spend more time finding out what we believe and why we believe it. Many denominations are based on the beliefs of a single man, including Wesleyans, Lutherans, and others. It is interesting to study there lives and then you begin to find out why you or your church believe the way you do. Ted Haggard had a church of about 14,000 that he founded in his basement. His congregation was utterly shocked by the news of what happened found Here. After seeing what happened to him, it makes you question what he told you, even if only a little bit.

In the end it’s disappointing that someone of Haggard’s influence allowed this to happen, but we are human, and David had his problems with Bathsheba so…Who’s to say what about Ted. As the body of Christ some say we are just sinners that have been saved by grace, I think Ted was shown the grace of God by this situation being brought out into the light. But, let’s all make sure that we don’t have any area’s of darkness left in us, and lets not take shortcuts to God’s will. There is a reason and a plan for everything we do, when we allow our focus to not be on God…our world falls apart and if we fight God on breaking us…the breaking will be greater.

Just a thought about the whole Ted Haggard thing…I don’t know if he did everything he was accused of or not…but I think it brings up an interesting thought. In America you can grow up to be anyone and do anything, there are no limits to what you can do it you commit yourself. I think sometimes as Christian’s in America we are the same way, we are able to pastor mega-churches, etc. if we set our mind to it.

Now the problems arise when we move to quickly, questions such as is it God’s will get pushed to the backburner, if we are successful it must be God’s will. This is not to say that Ted Haggard’s church is only successful because of Ted Haggard and not God, but it makes you think.

In America I don’t believe we are forced to sacrifice, to be purified by the fire in order to achieve success or even greatness. In America I believe what we see is that people who aren’t ready, who take shortcuts, end up with things catching up with them. Now please don’t think for one minute that I think Ted Haggard is guilty, a great thing about America is that we are innocent until proven guilty (at least by trial, if not by the media).

If we want to live Holy lives devoted only to God, I believe that not only does God have to purify us (and who knows He may chose to purify us through bringing sin to light as in Ted Haggard’s situation), but we will be called to sacrifice and especially be patient. It’s easy to want the instant gratification, but slow and steady seems to be the course God uses most frequently. This is played out in Paul’s life as well as Jesus’ life. Both incredible men (one incredible Savior) and both spent much time in solitude and training before they were released to ministry.

If anyone gleams anything from these idea’s let it be this…Allow the Lords timing to guide you in your life and don’t rush things…This whole situation, and blog may just be the message God is trying to teach me. So off I go to dream about it, Good Night.

I was recently thinking about church and what it is today verses what it once was….It seems that what it has become is a get together group that you pay for every month, that’s rather expensive (roughly 10% of what you make). What it use to be was a source for legit, life changing relationships…now-a-days we tend to get together to feel good. Unless I am just missing it, I just don’t see people having life changing upside down experiences and where everyone cares more for others than they do themselves, and people going out and really, and I mean really changing the world for Christ (note I am included in these groups)

It seems that I may be negative or gloomy when it comes to things in posts. I guess I just don’t see the value in some things that we as Christians or society tend to value. Maybe my experience has proved to lack value, or it may be that I am just negative…who knows. Whatever the case I always seem to give the church a tuff time huh?

A more dramatic win than any I have seen in a long time...Since Michigan State to be exact. Anyways, that will be a game I will always remember.

WE ARE (stomp, stomp) N D (stomp, stomp)

Today I go to see ND vs. UCLA....Hip Hip Horary!
What a pass, what a catch, what a game, some will say!

Others will boo, maybe, just maybe, that someone is you...

Others will complain about the traffic and weather,
Most everyone will agree, that the ref’s could have done better!

Fans will be rowdy, they will yell, shout, and scream,
After the game, you will hear the team sing.

You will see student doing push-ups, on top of the crowd,
And a funny little leprechaun, dancing and running around.

There helmets are gold and there jersey will be blue,
Hopefully today, we will have the luck of the Irish too.

You will see old folks and small folks, all at the game,
And some impractical people, as they tailgate in the rain.

Former players and coaches will talk about the Glory Days,
Some confused Buckeye fans will bring up Woody Hayes.

All that I know, and all I can see,
Is 80,000 fans screaming WE ARE (stomp, stomp) N D! (stomp, stomp)

I think that reading the Bible can be difficult to get into...I know that its Gods love letter to us...but it still doesn't really do it for me even if I think of it like that. I mean I have had 5 yrs of Bible college training on the Bible and the interpretations of it, but when I read it...nothing. I don't know what to do about it....but I think it's just the way I am wired because... I just don't think I am that type of person, you know? (Sometimes I feel guilty that I am not into God's love letter, but it's not directed towards God, since i am not really a romantic letters type of person.) How do you over come this, how do you really solve this, because the Bible is like the spine and glue that holds everything in place and together? I am sure I would have less blog posts, or at least better blog posts if I wasn't always rambling about daily issues...stinky, silly, common, everyday issues. (See post below ) Maybe my posts would encourage people instead of causing more inner conflict...Well folks, what do you do to get into the Bible?

Today we took a trip to Chicago...yes THAT Chicago... (Like, which other one was there...right?). Anyway the purpose of the trip was to drop my brother off at O’Hare Airport...yes THAT O’Hare Airport (was it still funny the second time?). Anyway I won't see him again until his wife delivers their first baby....boy that baby is in trouble... We celebrated by eating at Giordano's Pizza, only the best pizza in the world (we didn't celebrate my brother leaving...even though we should have...: we celebrated my almost birthday) Anyway I just wanted everyone to know that I went to Chicago today. A different brother went to Chicago also (though he didn't go with us) and refused to meet up with us, can you believe it, he just flat out refused...!

There has been enough funny posting now so let’s move on...

Has anyone ever been in a situation that was difficult and you believed God was about to move you out of it? Maybe you plan to start something new and exciting in your life and then you realize that maybe the pieces that you thought were going to be moved in your life are now only going to be tweaked? Well now the question becomes complicated and this...Is God truly moving you on (or are those your own plans) or is He leading you to stay (and moving on was your plans)? Interesting question that I will not debate in my post because...ready for it....I have been debating it already and still don't know!

This post seems kind of like a ramble tonight...because I guess that's what it is...feel free to ramble in the comment section.

Good Night.

Jesus talks a lot about family in the Bible but much of it seems.......um.......against traditional thought, why is this? Let me explain what i am talking about, leave you father and mother or you have no part of me, a prophet has no honor in his city or family (I am paraphrasing VERY loosely, but you get the idea) I think its because.......your family.......I am trying to figure it out, I am debating internally right now, but your family see's you how they see you, they see you as you were, they compare you to themselves and how you have always compared to them. I was thinking about Charlie Weis the other day because he said something about his brothers and sisters, I remember thinking that I bet they feel lucky, but then I thought, you know, I doubt it. I bet they think they can call better plays and they are being underpaid, they could do what he did given his opportunities, etc. Maybe not everyone is like this, but I think a lot of us are deep down. So.......I think its good to step back and look at what God has created around us in our families and appreciate them for who God has created them to be and then to not compare ourselves to them because who are we to challenge God? If we compare them to us its because we think God created us equal (which I don't think I believe) and if you think that way then you will question God about why did He do what He did, and when we question God we are in essence challenging His divinity be thinking we know more than He does. Dave Ramsey like to use an old saying that people don't want to take advice regarding sex or money once they have powdered your butt and calls it (very originally I might add) the powdered butt syndrome. I think its called pride personally and I think everyone should get off their horses. At least that's my opinion.

EDIT: Can you tell I am bitter?

A while back I had called a friend on the phone and I was talking to him about things that were going on in my life and he said some interesting things...One thing that stood out was this, I told him that I thought there was a double standard at work where I would do something that was totally ok and someone else would do something fraudulent and yet I would get talked to. My friend said that there very well could be a double standard because I have asked God to refine me and maybe He is using others to do this very thing. On the other hand maybe the rest of the store has decided to not walk with God, then He will in effect, hold me to a higher standard. I am totally ok with God refining me I just wish that me and God spoke the same language, you know? Anyway, this is good news, and a very, very painful process. What about you, are you being refined by somebody?

Question of the day, 'Are you getting busy living, or are you getting busy dying?' in your relationship with God, just an interpersonal question to mull over within yourself. (Shawshank Redemption, Morgan Freeman)

Does anyone notice that God seems to teach me most through work? What ways does God speak to you? I just wonder if people get bored with me always writing about work, but hey, that’s were life happens, so...

EDIT: Wifey-head makes a good comment, interpret getting busy living or dying however you read it because you could be correct either way.

Today was interesting, go in to work...kinda rough...then BAM! I was able to close a major deal. It's interesting the way God works sometimes, it's like 'i am going to allow you to deal with disappointment and ect. and then i will lift you high.' I think it just goes to show God is always in control and it's best to just be along for the ride. Let God handle today and tomorrow and just show up and do your best. Don't try to plan or do too much just allow God to work out you path and things will...work out for the good for those love Him and have been called by His purpose...(somewhere in the Bible it says something like that). Let it be encouragement to know that things will work out as they should if you trust Him.

I was on the way home today listening to the radio and the news came on talking about a shooting that happened in Colorado about 35 miles from Columbine. They were interviewing a pastor of one of the local pastors and he seemed rehearsed, not like he rehearsed his answers or anything, but kinda like he always has the right answers type of thing. He sounded like I am a pastor let me quote some scripture that fits the situation, but he hasn't been in the situation and can't relate to you. Anyway he said, "The entire book of Job is about the Lord gives and the Lord takes away and Blessed be the name of the Lord." The pastor follows this up with another statement saying, "And it's not our job to find out the reason for why something happens, the reason is in the mind of God and we don't need to know why as long as God does." Those two statements have a depth in them that we should all desire to know. The level of revelation contained in those sentences is amazing. If we could only live our lives through those truths, it would make things so much easier on ourselves. Anyway, I thought that I should share this with you. It's been an exhausting day...God bless.

EDIT: This was on a Christian Radio Station.

An interesting observation is this: In our Christian walk it seems that there is many times where God puts us in situations that are hard on us, He makes us do things that move us out of comfort zone. Just as we get comfortable its time for a new challenge. It’s interesting because we don’t know what we are doing and we don’t know how it applies to our calling. I think that what god is doing is simple; He is teaching us another farming technique. We may start out digging holes to plant seeds, or pruning the plants or harvesting the fruit, but we start out in one area of farming. The next thing He does is switch us to something totally different; we don’t get it because now we are climbing latter’s and picking fruit or driving a tractor to harvest wheat or corn. It’s important to remember that God has a plan and that even if we can’t see the bigger picture we don’t have to. At one point this was a really profound revelation but now its hard to duplicate…oh well.

I would like to say that God truly has blessed me these past couple of days. And there is nothing more to say i guess.

In our daily lives, as humans, we have many aspects of ourlives that require our time and attention. These areas include school, work, relationships, bills, and our spiritual walk among countless others. Each time we devote time to an area of our life we are juggling. We spend some time paying our bills and then we throw it in theair while we concentrate on work, then we throw that in the air as we devotetime and energy into our relationships before tossing that to the sky aswell. And this is how our life goes, one by one tossing each area of our life into the air and hoping to catch it before we allow things to get out ofcontrol.

It's amazing the messes that we manage to avoid - not without cost though. Every time we loft something into the air that thing, that area of our life now demands some internal memory dedicated to that issue so as to not lose control (we will be using some computer speak here -any techie's that want to contest some of my analogies please let me know). Most of us people seem to come without the required memory available to handle all of the things that we throw into the air. The next thing that happens is that we get memory overload and our life gets blue screened or we get this pop-up that says physical memory dump starting in 59,58, 57, 56, 55, 54, 53...ect. You get the idea. And that's when it all crashes. Our life turns to shambles and we are left in ruins. Hopefully we have our life stored on a backup hard drive with the ability to put everything back into place. For most of us, these crashes only happen once in a while and seem to be 'only' 'some' or 'several' of these areas of our life, as we are able to make several miraculous catches on our way down. Come to think of it we make better wide receivers than we do computers.....

As far as humans go we see varying degrees of skill when itcomes to juggling, sure we can point to CEO'S and other people who seem to have it together, but I assure you, they are dropping things to i.e. HP's CEO. This leads us to one conclusion, we are not capable of handling all areas of our lives, and my best guess says that we weren't intended to. As a matter of fact, my experience tells me that any time I focus to long or to hard on one area of my life, the other areas fall down. My personal experience shows me that as capable as I am as a person, I can truly only handle one thing at a time…and that’s tuff for me because by nature I am a multi-tasker. If I wanted to I could try to show everyone how much I have it together and hold off for as long as possible with dropping the ball, but the truth is, I can’t do it, atsome point I will fail – the question is, “How long will it take me to learn?”

See, this is where Christ comes in, as Christians we have this amazing resource at our disposal. We can set our lives apart, focus truly and solely on this resource and that resource will juggle for us. That resource is Christ. And let me tell you, he is a pretty good juggler. In my personal life, when I am sitting on the ground collecting everything that fell down, that’s when I usually give everything to Christ and things tend to start running smooth again. It’s when we start to take over that the problems start again. Most of us don’t even realize we are juggling again until things start to go wrong.

I am here to tell you folks, it’s a lot easier to juggle onething with two hands than the alternative. This is long, I know, it’s just my life on a screen. Hopefully it means something to someone…Good Night.

How many of you ever find yourself doing things out of character and at some point in time you realize what you are doing, you look at yourself and don't know why you are doing it, and you know that it can be stopped, and then you stop it??? This has been happening to me a lot lately...it intrigues me, what is God doing in my life? Anyway more later, hopefully with good news to share with all of you.

Well, good news...I passed my Real Estate Exam today so as soon as i send in my application and it's in the mail i am officially licensed to buy and sell real estate for consideration (the technical description). Also, we hung out in Michigan City a bit today and my lovely wife Autumn decided she wanted to play on the McDonalds playground, so being the good husband I am I told her it was ok under one condition...She had to take little Becka with her. Feel free to check out the pictures in my photo blog under McDonald's somewhere in Michigan City. We also hung out with some friends today, whom we lovingly call the Hemker Heads...it was fun, we had Chicken Parmesan. Alas, that was my day, it was a very good day.

Yesterday was one of those day's that was really high...and really low, but in the reverse order. There were some amazing things that I learned. I would really like to share some of the things, but not really, so I have compromised with myself and will share with you one trinket of new wisdom I gained. Here it is:

Yesterday both of my friends talked with me about seeing our life as a spiritual person having a physical experience, yea, yea we all know the cliché, right? But do we experience the cliché? One comment was made that people view themselves through there physical body but don't realize that if they lose a finger, arm, or leg they have not lost any part of themselves. As spiritual beings we are contained within ourselves, we are not our physical bodies, we are what is within our bodies, if we loose a part of our body that doesn't take away from who we are...it is difficult to write out revelation.

The other part of this whole thing is people. People who shine their lights. My friend also talked about people, Christian who have started off life bad but then had a salvation experience and turned there less than glamorous decisions into amazing ministry opportunities, things like drug clinics, single mother’s supports groups, prison ministry, ect. We don't want to go to prison so we can start a prison ministry, but you know the guy who has one has a heart for the people who he ministers too. Same goes for drug clinics and homeless shelters.

It's amazing to see these people's lights shining in the city one of the friends said. As you look around the city, do you see the lights shining? I was blown away at the thought of those people's little shacks and poorly funded ministries as being lights in a city. Does that do something to your insides? Does it completely change the way you see things? As a spiritual being who walks around the city how many lights are shining? As we allow the Lord to open our eyes in this way, and maintain a spiritual perspective...I think we would see the lights shine brighter and brighter, but those who are evil...are blinded by the light...

I am a physical person who once in a while has a spiritual experience, at least that's how I live. I think about everyone lights shining and I told my wife, it's like we are a bristle on a Christmas tree and all we see are other bristles, then one day God opens our eyes to a light next to us (as my friend did) and then we start to see one a little farther away, then another, and another. And as we grow in the Lord and develop relationships with these believers they open our eyes to others who are lights. As this happens we begin to see an entire network of lights and the string that holds them together. I have a suspicion that if we got the opportunity to get off of the tree and see it from across the room I think we would realize that all of the lights are off in the house except for the ones attached to the Christmas tree. And I think that if we stood outside at night we would be able to see the lights on the tree inside and if we stepped back even further I think we would only see I giant light glowing from inside a house down the road....and I think its a powerful image of what happens as we give up a little bit more of ourselves and begin to live our lives as spiritual people have a physical experience......

One more quick thought, it seems that we think about what it will be like once we get to eternal life, I’ve got news for ya, you received eternal life when you were saved, let’s enjoy the journey.

EDIT: My wife reminded me that in our original conversation I told her that we are also lights on the Christmas tree...this also works very well in the analogy, we just have to make sure that if we are going to be lights we have to make sure we are all the way screwed in (or connected to Christ)

My day started out with a meeting between the sales reps only at my store...at 8:30. not good... for me. I did get double chocolate pancakes from ihop as part of the deal, so that was good, the meeting on the other hand was not...lets leave it at that. I then talked to a friend for over 45 minutes on the phone and that was one of the best conversations i have had in a long time! Today was my day off in 8 days and originally i was going to work but decided 'no thanks' was a better option. Then it was off to a friends office to drop off some things i promised to give him, that turned out to be the second best conversation i have had in a long time and ended up being about 4-4.5 hours long...oops. Since i had not been planning on this detor it was now time for supper and grilling, which was nice. Then it was an after supper snooze which lasted not nearly long enough before i ultimately had to transfer myself to my bed, at which time i was jumped on constantly by a certain two yr. old someone, at which time i remembered i was expecting an email and that's how i ended up posting a new blog...nice huh?

I know i was listening to Shaded Red on an earlier post but i am still listening to them, they are simply amazing. Everyone reading should go out and buy both of there CD's, they are that good...and they will change your life!

I know most people don't care about the earlier parts of my day, at least in that much detail, but i must say, today has changed my life forever. Talking to those two guys today...it was a real blessing. Both guys actually have the same name, weird huh? But here is the thing, those two guys, i can't thank them enough, it's really cool to know people like them who just took an hour(s) out of their day just to talk. The one guy just let me sit in his office to talk to him in the middle of his work day and accomplished next to nothing...it's astonishing. I really appreciated that.

The mind blowing words of wisdom that these two guys shared will at some point be added in future blogs, but at this time..it's off to bed.

In our lives, Christianity, if we truly want it to be special, will be the hardest thing in our life, and marriage will probably be number two. So when you feel as though a Mack truck just ran you over, get up! I think lots of things happen to us all at the same time to see what type of character we have...Lord when this happens to me, give me the strength to stand-up and overcome it.

I think. I think that in life we like to carry things on our backs, things like financial issues, relationship issues, and spiritual issues. Then we focus on some while letting others slip. Then when we figure it out, when we realize it's not working, then we go to God. If we focus on Him all the time...like truly focus, it seems that all aspects of life are handled and we look good at juggling...until we take our eyes off God...then we look silly, that's right silly! I think it would be better if we always focused on God. I think this is why Jesus says My yoke is easy and My burdens are Light & whoever is weary and burdened come to Me and I will give you rest. This definitely rings true in my life.

Question of the day: What burdens are you carrying that you need to give to Him?

Or

Thoughts to ponder: What other verses ring home to you in your everyday life? What Biblical truth do you rely on?

Lately i have been caught up in the humbug of life (don't ask me what that is, i don't know). My mom's B-day was today, she is now officially older than dirt (lol) and...well that's it.

Next thought, i was reading the other day about the Columbine shooting that happened several years ago on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbine_High_School_massacre, wow, that article is crazy and really makes you think.

Happy thoughts... Not sure if i have any, after that article though we need some, eh? Also, I have been thinking about writing about family thoughts in my blog but it's more of a deep thoughts blog...maybe we can adjust. Let's start with a 'question of the day' or 'thoughts to ponder' in all my writings from now on, ok? I think it's a good idea (lets hope i can come up with some). All comments will now be required to answer the question or ponder their thoughts in writing in order to comment ok? (like i could enforce that)

Question of the day: In the Bible it says that one of the signs that Christ is coming back will be that the moon will be bright red, like blood. Since the first time i heard that it has constantly freaked me out when i look at the moon sometimes. Like tonight, there was a red tint to the moon. This happens pretty frequently, does it freak anyone else out?

or

Thoughts to Ponder: I sometimes wonder if God uses nature to fulfil things that have been prophesied. Science tells us that when the Moon, Mars, and the Earth are all aligned correctly then the Moon will appear red due to Mars illumination. Does anyone else want this to hold off for a while before it happens again?

Now everyone knows the kind of thoughts i deal with on a daily basis, i look forward to hearing your thoughts.

I am going to start posting on my xanga site and I hope you all continue to comment and follow my blog over there. You can find it at www.xanga.com/mparrott84, please update your bookmark. Thanks.

mparrott84 @ Blogger.com signing off.

When opportunity knock, answer the door...Food for thought. It seems that in life, God will show you something, and then it's like, you know I really need to change that about myself (or rather let God change you since that's why He showed you what He did) and then BAM! It's test time. Like the other day, God showed me that the picture I have of life has a lot of stuff in it, nice house, car, ect. But then He's like, 'Is that what's important? Or should you rather desire Me and the calling I have placed on your life?' Then your like, you know I could give it all up to serve Him because that's what I want...And you meditate on it and begin to dwell on the things of God and not stuff, and then it happens, something pops up that you need (want) and your stuck in a rut. Like for me, here I am giving up everything I ever wanted and BAM! This brand new phone comes out that I really need (want) and I mean I really need it (want it). So I am stuck....Just thought I would let you all know, so you can buy it for me. :)

Another thought, 'Is the fact that we want stuff wrong, or is it the control that the stuff has on us?' Because first we want it, then we think about it, then think about it some more, then we buy it. But, we also have to pay for it, so we go to work to afford it and then the stuff gets us...Sad face :( If we can have stuff and not stuff us, then we are ok. Because when I go out and buy a new phone (cause you know I am really into phones and work at a phone store...Big mistake right?) then I take it home and its like 'wow this phone is really cool....And I still have all the same problems and disappointments in life that I had before...But the phone is cool....But now I have more disappointments in life cause now I have to figure out how to afford it....

Ok people, comment time.....You have been slacking lately. :)

The other day I was called to take a BIG STEP in my life (as in called on the phone...Or the way that you first though) and I ask everyone to pray that it would be successful. More on that topic later. I have taken BIG STEPS to ensure that I write more frequently, internet access in up in the air though, lets hope it all falls down nicely into place....More to come shortly, I promise.

My daughter has this CD that has bible songs and stories on it, and one while thinking about callings and such, one of these stories came on and really perked my curiosity. The story was about Joshua and the conquest of Jericho. As I started tossing around thoughts in my head, I began to get what I thought was some revelation.

In Joshua, when God calls Joshua to conquer Jericho, God only showed Joshua what to do each day. Another words, God told Joshua to travel around the city a certain way, and then that was it. The second day God once again told Joshua to march around the city a second day and then that was it. The same on the third day, fourth, fifth, and sixth day until the seventh day when He told them to take the city. What we can take from this is simple. God only shows us our callings one day at a time, this is done so we continually really on and trust our Lord.

The unfortunate thing is that when I looked up the story about Joshua and the city of Jericho, God outlined everything he wanted Joshua to do before he event went there, yep that's right, God told Joshua go to Jericho and do this day, day two, day three, ect. Oops, that was a not so good analogy I guess.

So I have this analogy about trusting God and doing what He tells you because it will always happen exactly as God says even if we don't believe Him. My example is the story about Joshua and the city of Jericho....

If you would like to be on a mailing list and you want me to e-mail you every time I add a new post to my blog, then let me know, and if there is enough demand I will set something up.

Have a good evening.

Late at night, after I get off work, sometimes I go for a walk with God. These are not what I would call prayer walks, because I am not always praying, but I often do. Mostly this is a time where I get to go over all the thoughts in my head that are troubling me, and seek God for answers. I do not tell you this to brag, but only to set the stage for this post.

Tonight as I was going through all the crises that I am facing, it occurred to me that my daughter Becka was in an enviable position. This is due to the fact that while she is extremely smart, she is oblivious to all of our 'end of the world' issues. I often cry out to God for problems that exist at work, bills coming due, lack of satisfaction with were I am in life, and maybe arguments I am having with my spouse, family, or friends. I also often ask forgiveness for my stupidity and ponder political and global issues that are effecting our nation - all things that my precious Becka doesn't have a clue about. As I pondered this thought I was amazed at her simplicity, and thought to myself that this is how it is to be for us, as God's children.

My jealousy for my daughter is under control, but how do I approach God the way she approaches life? Rebecka Joy gets up with no clue as to what the day holds, but instead experiences the adventures of that particular day. As I continued to ponder these issues I wondered, as children grow, there eyes become open to these things that pressure us all, so how do we as adults approach God. How do grown-up kids go to there parents for answers, after all they are adults.....I don't know that I came to any conclusions to this question, nor have it tried, but instead I just keep thinking about my daughter and how can I be like her? After all, I already know about all the problems and all of the issues that my daughter just lets me handle. How do I let God handle my issues. After all, if I let Him handle my issues, He probably will handle them...But what if I don't like the way He goes about it..? If I could just trust Him enough (not that He isn't worthy, but more-so that I am not capable of trusting enough right now) then I would know that He sees me the way I see my daughter, and that I would do anything for her, and to see her be happy. I don't know, it's just hard I guess.

These are the thoughts that I have to deal with....To walk out my calling and produce a blog for your enjoyment, and conviction...j/k. I don't mind it, I enjoy pondering deep thoughts, but converting them into one's lifestyle is much more difficult. My task is now to be able to implement the little bit of truth that my Father in Heaven has given me tonight...If I were you guys I wouldn't wait up, this is gonna be a long process. It's a good thing we have a life time. In the mean time I guess I should go get some sleep, it's gonna be a long journey, you should too.

Good night, again.

So I get home late tonight and I am sitting there eating blueberry buckle, which my wife had made, and she didn't think it turned out quite right. So, there I am sitting there, thinking (not saying anything mind you) that this blueberry buckle is good enough....That's when ideas' started being tossed around in my head...(and we all know what happens when I toss idea's around in my head....They end up on this blog:) ) Anyway, I started thinking about being good enough and what happens in relationship when things become 'good enough'.

I am married so I will start there (single people hang out for a minute, it will all pull together and we will all get something out of it, I promise). I think that as we grow in relationships we begin to cut corners, maybe the cooking and preparing of meals begin to be made good enough and and someone cleans up 'good enough', and that's where I think relationships start dying. At this point though, there is no passion, no love in the preparation or delivery of your actions. As husband and wife we need to do things with love for each other, if for instance my wife would have made the blueberry buckle to be 'good enough' then it would have lacked love in the preparation, however, if she bakes it with love and it only turns out 'good enough' then that is much different. If I were to only tell her how much I appreciate her once a year and I think that's 'good enough' then there is a problem. What I need to do instead, is tell her how much I love her so that she knows she is loved (guys, its pretty important women are told...A lot. About 10-12 times a day is what they need according to studies.) This way I am meeting her needs and I am telling her I love her for her benefit. I am not just simply putting in a random I love you and calling it 'good enough'. Relationships that are 'good enough' don't last.

As a married person you have to do things for your partner, things we may not want to do, and when we do things for them, we need to do it out of an abundance of love. If we do this in all situations (even when we are extremely upset at that person) then we can have a truly GREAT marriage and make an impact to the world around us. The world will know we are Christians by our love, but I guess what I am saying, is that we need to love others by our actions, in the daily, in folding clothes, preparing meals, talking to each other, ect. And that's just for the women...:) the men also need to do the daily (read: nagging) activities, like the trash, lawn, and heavy lifting for the women folk, and we need to do if for them out of love for our spouses.

The way this applies to everyone is simple (its a parallel universe and what we do on earth effects other universes' and galaxies.......) we can apply this principle to our relationship with Christ. In the miniscule daily activities of smiling at people on the street, waiving people in front of us while driving, and generally how we present ourselves. These activities will show our true love of Christ. Are we telling the truth, going to church, reading our Bibles, and in general doing 'good enough'? If you are, then your relationship may be dying. I hope we all strive for excellence, that's how the race is won.

By the way, the blueberry buckle ended up being wonderful, I really did like it. The 'good enough' was just a thought, but it produced this post, so maybe this blog is like, a calling or something. -Hope you enjoyed it d.
p.s. If you think my posts are to long....Get over it. j/k Hope you all don't mind it.

What is the purpose of church...? This is an issue we touched on in the church attendance blog that I wanted to dive a little further into. Why do we go to church? What are we hoping to get out of it? What do we get out of it? What do we learn from attending church? And, how is it suppose to be? (Hint: the last question is not a personal opinion question)
First off lets start with 'why do we go to church?' Most people tend to say fellowship, but reality says most people feel obligated to go to church, or they may as though they will 'backslide' if they don't go. Maybe going to church is how they grow, by going and learning something new (Christian slang = 'to get fed').

How is it that in Church we are always taught how to be good, but seldom how to have a relationship w/Jesus. Does anyone really care about being good? Being good doesn't get you into heaven. Do you walk with the Lord daily? Do you know how to? No cheating everyone close their textbooks, what does your day look like, what does it consist of? Do you dwell on what is good and holy? Do you pray w/o ceasing? Do you experience inner peace? Or do you lay awake at night with things like finances, test's, job situations, or relationship crisis' on your mind? Why doesn't anyone actually teach us how to BE CHRISTIANS.

This topic is on hold because I need to go to church to get my thoughts straight. When I walk out the door I will be upset enough to get all my thoughts in order. Expect this topic to be posted more in-depth on a Sunday or Monday soon.

Edit: This topic was on hold (since 7/20) but is now being taken off the hold position and being released for thoughts and opinions.

This topic will be expanded on a Sunday or Monday soon, but not this Sunday or Monday :) I recently went to church...I know great eh? But I only went to listen to a special speaker and he did not upset me so let me go on a regular Sunday and we can pump out the rest of this topic soon.

Today is the day we celebrate my parents walking on the earth for almost 100 years (combined, even though you would think it was apiece!) So that makes it a memorable day, right? Ok on to some thoughts I have been tossing around - in my head- not outside my head.........Ok, never mind (mental images...). The other day I was talking on the phone with my friend and then another - other day I was talking to him again...And he made the comment 'I don't know if you know that what you just said was prophetic or not, but it was just what I needed...' and then he want on to say that God had been showing him some things recently and what I just said ties into the whole thing. He also said that every time I call it seems like I say something that seems to be more than just a coincidence. I personally don't believe in coincidences anymore because as a Christian, if God is orchestrating our lives, then things are going to work out and be said when we need it, because God is going to give you what you need, when you need it. God also knows when to offer confirmation - so anytime you have a 'coincidence, stop and say a little thanks to your God in heaven.

Anyway the really awesome part about my friend saying what he did to me, was that God uses me even when I am not aware, how cool is that! I can be stupid, stupid mparrott84 and God can still choose to use me in spite of myself. This is why I think I am chosen (think back several posts), because God has complete control of me even in spite of myself. This is definitely comforting. Anyway, it also is a part of my calling I believe. For example, part of my wife's calling is praying for healing with the sick and lame. Part of my gifting is in the prophetic, but the cool part is that there is no expectations, as long as I just continue to be myself I will keep on calling my friends at the right time, every time and saying the right thing. And I think that's amazing. The only part I am responsible for is to be myself and to nurture my relationship with the Father up above.

For discussion: do you think of or refer to The Father, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit or something else, when you are thinking, talking, praying, or meditating about the Trinity? I think most of the time I refer to the Father part of the Trinity.

Whenever I talk about personal callings in my writings I am beginning to think that the most important part of your calling is being you. I never love my daughter more than when she looks at me and with all the sincerity of her entire being and tells me whatever she wants to. She just looks at me and there is the look of love and sincerity and it doesn't matter what she is saying, it just matters that she is saying it to me. I don't have it scripted what she should say or do, but ... I think that our lives should be similar, when we are truly ourselves, not thinking about saying, acting, or doing the right thing but just saying, doing, and acting as ourselves, that's when we are most in God's will I think.

So, the question is, 'Who am I?'
I am a person who is very confident in who I am, some people think I am cocky - I am not. I definitely have leadership tendencies, I am a problem solver, analytical, laid back, decisive, easy to get along with, opinionated, and I am a quick thinker. It makes sense that I would have a discipleship calling. But the crazy part is how? How do I walk in the calling that I am. Well, I already gave the answer, by being myself. So if someone wants to step up and show me how you are doing it.........Then maybe I can implement those things in my life also. I was on the phone with a friend tondight for almost an hour, and he said that as children our parents have to let us make mistakes, I don't think I ever maid any mistakes growing up and hence as an adult I have a fear that prevents me from acting. I NEED TO JUST DO SOMETHING SO I CAN MAKE A MISTAKE! Ok, maybe not but, see there is this hindrance that prevents me from being me, more.

The second question is, 'Am I saying, doing and acting as myself?'
I think I am, even if it's a dim image of what I hopefully will one day became. I don't think I shy away from being myself due to anyone, or their thoughts and opinions of me. I think I am doing the cell phone sales thing because I really enjoy cell phones. I don't think I would classify myself as really living my calling though because - ok, I am getting confused now.

What about you? Who are you? Are you saying, doing, and acting as yourself? I hope that my writings can cause each person who reads them to look within your soul and evaluate yourself. In some sort of crazy way this blog may be more my calling than anything I have accomplished selling cell phones for the last 2 years.....It's like a light is turning on and ...Oops it was a light turning on, my wife is turning on the light so I can see what I am typing........(my attempt, pathetically, at humor).

On a more serious note, I think that things, like blogs (ex. mparrott84) can and are parts of people's callings. I think this is what I was getting at a coupled of days back when I said that your hand is in a lot of different stuff. Maybe I write blogs, maybe I sell cell phones, maybe I teach Sunday school and do prayer meetings. And maybe everything I am involved in outside my j.o.b. is my calling, and my job is just that, a job, with no other meaning in tact except to provide for my family. Maybe my job doesn't matter, but maybe it's the most intricate part of my calling because that's where God sharpens and hones my soul so that I can write about it here and annoy all of you. And maybe the post is just way to long and I should save some of it for later.

Good night.

Hope this works out,

Funny thoughts...
What if the world had no parents, ahhhh pure joy right? Wait a minute as we dive into a world with no parents. The bliss starts out like this. No one nagging on us (as kids), no grounding's, no spanking's (admit it, we all got them :) )no one telling us what to do, no one telling us to clean our rooms, no pulling hair or ears - a shout out to my mom :) and definitely no one telling us to eat our vegetables.

Not so funny thoughts...
No one psychologically abusing their kids, no one sexually abusing their kids, no one killing their kids or parents, no one throwing their kids away or leaving them, no one growing up with split parents or parents in jail, and no one running away from home.

Back to funny thoughts...
No one being born, no one in history & definitely no one to write this post.

As a matter of fact the animals would be very bored as there would be no one to ride them, no one to milk them, no one to pluck them, no one to catch them in their nets, no one to cage them, no one to lock them up in little bowls, no one to destroy their habitats, and no one to make fun of (I am thinking about monkeys laughing at us on the last on).

The post started out as I thought about a certain someone's ... Well let's leave it at that. However, you can all say thank you to the one who is unknown, but responsible for this post. That person may know who He/She is but...As we can all tell I think a world with parents is better than a world without them - if only because I exist.

The last couple of days my place of employment has been going through some changes and one change has been that I temporarily (I hope) do not have an internet connection. This makes my posts more sporadic (sorry) and ....More thoughtful, hopefully, because I have more time to process my thoughts before rushing to write them down.

The thought in my head today is a very good topic, i think, due to its sensitive and controversial nature. While I was at my place of employment, the guys started talking about the xBox games (or Playstation 3, ...I don't know) they had been playing the night before and it got me to thinking. I believe that in today's society young people are sincere about their relationship with God and I believe that they penetrate past the daily routine and Sunday church service, but I am not sure they are willing (able, know how to, or think it's necessary) to make the sacrifices that the older generations have made. A prime example is gaming and movies, ect. I think in today's world many of us live in the permissible places instead of striving for the beauty of purity. We are extreme in our emotions and seek meaning and belonging and we are not use to being told no or having the discipline that will take us to un-imaginable heights. I think we are missing something that is hard to put in writing. It's like we are getting it, but missing what is just past our vision. We are experiencing the victory of the race but missing the true blessings of the daily training. I think for us to be great...For us to be what God intended, just winning the race is missing what he has for each one of us. What he has for us, is for us to find out while we are preparing for the race. The goal, the prize is heaven, the rest of it is for earth and what each one of us need to find out. The race is nice, it's what gets us the prize, but the rest, that's our life.

I had some time the last few days to toss over some thoughts in my head, so I am bringing a continuing topic to you from my post 'a glimpse'. The last thing I did in the post was ask if you were doing what you were called to do in life, well are you?? Ok anyway, a couple of days ago I had an opportunity to skim part of the book '48 days to the work you love' by Dan Miller, this is a book I have skimmed several times and I some point I will probably buy it. :) There are a couple things in the book that the author talks about that made me start tossing ideas around yesterday. The first one was differentiating between someone's calling and their career. This makes me wonder what it would look like if everyone was walking in their calling. My wife told me a statistic the other day that 50% of people think about their purpose every day and the other 50% never think about it, I am part of the group that think about it every day. Here are my thoughts...
My calling should consume my life, it should be a part of everything I do. When I go to work it should be because work fits into some part of my calling, lately I have been making my calling fit around my work. Actually to be truthful my calling seems like it has been put on the shelf. When God places a call on one's life it seems that we should be actively effecting multiple facets of life. I don't see a calling as go to college, get a job, buy a house, join a church, be a good person and get into heaven. I see a calling as being a part of a continually changing, evolving, multi-faceted life style where I don't just have one job, I earn income from various area's at various times depending on where God has me. I don't just have one church, I move into different churches depending on what season God has placed me and what He wants to teach me. I don't have a home but rather keep heaven in my heart and know that I am secure. It's in these ways that we can effectively change the world. Too many times we get stuck in jobs that we detest and as a result become complacent in every area of our lives. It's the constantly changing and fresh many that keep our lives full of life and vibrant. It's when we are walking in our calling that we experience the peace from our daily troubles, the love for our fellow Christian brothers and sisters, and the joy of our salvation. Anyway I want to take my calling off the shelf, dust it off and get living again. I think the hard part comes in finding out what our calling is and then having the strength and courage to actually walk. This is goal. Are you walking in your calling? Do you know what your calling is? More later on this topic I am sure.....

It's crazy, since I started writing I have been completely unable to produce the thoughts and idea's I have in my head, into my blog. I have 3 topics for other days when I can finally get my thoughts in order, even now as I type I find myself stopping and reading, then stopping and re-reading, and then...re-reading. I am eager to discuss topics such as jobs vs. callings (one in the same???) What the purpose of church is (do we go their to learn, get fed, feed others?), and other topics, but everything I sit down to type, my thoughts become long, dried-out, and borrrrring. No one is going to reply to posts like that, so I save as draft and try to come up with something else so that you at least keep checking back. Very crazy that this post even makes sense.

So what can we do about a situation like this? Glad you asked. We are going to ask for discussion topic idea's and what are your thoughts about the topics I listed above? Maybe if someone speaks out then I will be able to gather my thoughts on your thoughts and then we might have something.....Or maybe not. But we will have started something. If nothing else then tell me if you like some of the changes to my template and add your own suggestions about things I should do. You may have to explain how to implement any idea's you have because I am still learning, or if you have a blog I may just cheat and look at yours to copy and paste (Thanks Rhonda!) Anyway, those are my thoughts of the day.

I am actually going on an empty head week. I have been completely brain dead, at least when referring to deep thoughts. I have a couple idea's I am trying to put together, but I have been busy. Please stay with me...And please, please comment.

I have a couple of idea's in my head about things I would like to write but they are still being tossed around in my head right now. Things like....Well I will write them when the time comes. I encourage feedback and would like to see specific thoughts about how people perceive the topics.

Ok, ...I changed my mind I will give you a glimpse into one thought I have been tossing around. As Christians if you don't know what to do...Is it better to do something and be wrong, or is it important to know God's will first. And I have a question for all those normal Christians out there who are not quite sure if God will audibly speak to you, how do you know? Is it the warm fuzzy feeling you get? If God can do the warm fuzzies then why can't he talk audibly to you? Moving on, if He can talk audibly to you then it seems to follow that He would speak to you His will in a situation, and if He is going to do that, then shouldn't we know what He wants before we act? But, if we don't know what He wants, then what? Example, moving across country, buying a house, or car. It's easy when discussing what to have for supper but what about the big things?

And, are you doing what you are called to do RIGHT NOW???

One thought I have been mulling over for a while now is this idea of being called vs. being chosen. In the Bible (somewhere) it talks about many being called but few are chosen. Since college I have tossed this idea over and over in my mind, and that's what I am going to do with this post, toss the idea over some more. In every Christian's life there is a point were they become born again. This does not mean that we are now chosen instead of called, as a matter of fact this is proof that we have been at least, bare minimum, called. Now many people, as they continue on their spiritual journey, grow in their relationship with God. At some point some people experience the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. Does this mean you are chosen? Probably not, so what does.

I like to think I am chosen as do a lot of people I guess. The way I determine weather I am called or chosen is simple, I think I am chosen, I want to be chose, so I guess I am. But....How does this effect my life, what does it mean to me and my calling? What does it say about me and more importantly, if I declare that I am chosen that seems like it puts a judgment on my life....For instance if I am in fact chosen now I have to measure up to what being chosen means and those people who are also chosen. If I am only called there is this expectation that if you fail oh well, there was a good chance you were going to fail anyway and there is no shame (also no shame in Jesus Christ but I was just trying to show an example). We are going to move back to the chosen topic however since that's what we are focusing on.

...............Sorry, I'm at work, so this isn't as thought out as it should be..............

Acknowledging, claiming, or even thinking your chosen...Seems pridefull to say the least. But lets discuss how that effects us, being chosen. If we are chosen, and few are, then there is a great responsibility to carry our weight and to carry out the calling of the entire human race. That's a pretty big responsibility! In my life I desire to be chosen and in doing so struggle everyday with, 'am I doing what I am suppose to do?' If I fail God in some way, like giving up on Christianity, or neglecting to perform what is expected of a chosen person then....Don't get me wrong I am not going to give up on Christianity, this is what drives me, and is also what makes me believe I am, in fact, chosen. Part of my thought process is that those that are chosen can't 'fall away' as we Christians put it, and those who are called can 'fall away'. Part of the reason why I believe I am chosen is because I believe that I am always saved, I don't believe the doctrine and didn't drink the kool-aid of once saved always saved, but I believe I personally am always saved, and this is why I think I am chosen. There is much more to this thought process that I will continually be tossing over, and writing about, over and over again. So the question is ...... What about you???

Today the thing on my mind is church attending. The reason I am writing about this is because I did not attend church this morning nor have I attended church for about three months worth of Sunday mornings. Once I went with my in-laws and once I went on Saturday night....

In college I was constantly surrounded my Christian friends and neglected church then also, but it seemed like I did ok. But now I wonder...Is it possible to maintain a serious walk with God without attending church on a regular basis?

Another thing I seem to do without is time in the word, good or bad I have a hard time reading the word with any frequency. I have always loved the idea of using the Bible as a text book, I did in church growing up and during my college years. I have always viewed it as a book to study and know. But how do you change your way of thinking and instead view the Bible as a letter written directly to you? How do you look at the Bible as your source of information for every situation? When I need help I sometimes look to the Bible for help and everything I do, I wonder how it applies to me, personally.

Missing these two intrigue things makes one's spiritual walk very difficult. Especially to keep your relationship with God the most important thing in your life. On the other hand attending a church that goes through the motions or sometimes worse yet, a church that has some understanding of a spiritual relationship with God but is not capable of teaching others how to walk with God makes church completely un-appealing. On the other hand if you don't go you are very likely to struggle in your spiritual walk. Why? Because you really need a support system and a church, family, and friends are usually your support staff to keep your focus on God. Like the support system I had in college, church just wasn't apart of it.

Does anyone else have problems finding a church that actually has the ability to give you that support system? See, the way I view church is very complex. I don't view it as being a place were you should go in order to grow, that should happen day-by-day by walking with the Lord. But...It seems like I am fed spiritually by seeing others walk with God and hearing their stories and conversations with God. If it doesn't happen at church where while it happen? And it is hard to grow in your walk when you are not fed, so what to do, what to do?

Thoughts? Comments?

I would especially like to hear from those who feel like they are in a church that provides what you need. My brother says it's not what the church can do for you, rather what can your do for the church? Do you agree? I don't, as a matter of fact I don't think I do offer anything.....Before people go crazy on me, realize I have a healthy self-esteem I just am not wired in a way to offer anything......At least that I know of.

More later......

I am new to blogging and this is my first post so hopefully you find what I have say interesting. Most posting will be about things I have been mulling over in my head that I haven't quite figured out yet. My posts are just a way to organize my thoughts, things I don't want to lose, but want to remember. I have been stalling for a while now to create my first post, I have had this account for months and I am just now posting. I will try to post frequently but...We will see how it goes. I do look forward to talking to other like minded individuals. It seems difficult to find others who think similarly on the topics that I will post on most frequently.......Life and Religion. My next post will be following shortly, anyway that's all for the introduction...See you next time.